Dealing with your vegetarian teenager
Maybe it’s happened gradually, first the avoidance of red meats; beef and pork are deemed disgusting, the oozing blood sending an expression of revulsion flashing across their face. Steaks? Suddenly, they’re out of the question. Sausage and bacon? Definitely off the menu. Soon they are shying away from turkey and chicken, perhaps after watching particularly vomit-inducing documentary on the mistreatment of poultry in the modern food industry. 
Soon after, fish will be eradicated from their diet as well, no matter whether it’s a tin of tuna, curls of smoked salmon or a fresh fillet of monkfish - they’ll refuse it. Take them to the supermarket and the glassy eyes of the cod and haddock, staring out from the fish counter, will have them recoiling in horror; and if you so much as mention prawns or scallops, you’d better be ready for the icy glare that cries "You fish murdering, cold-hearted fool, how could you suggest such a thing!".
However gradually or rapidly the transformation from your little darling whose favourite meal was steak and chips, and who would happily gnaw at the bone of a chicken leg or pork chop, to this strange, vegetarian teenager who wrinkles their nose at your chicken and mushroom pies, has taken place, the first and most important lesson to learn is this: once your teenager has sworn themself to a lifetime of vegetables and pulses, there is absolutely no use attempting to change their mind.
Nothing you could possibly say or do will have any effect whatsoever. However much bacon you fry under their nose, however many lasagnes and roast dinners you endeavour to make, they will remain resolutely vegetarian. Try to remember that many teenage vegetarians revert back to their meaty roots after a couple of years (or sometimes no more than a few months) and that in the meantime the most that you can do is help them understand food labels to get a better understanding of how to get the nutrients they need from their now restricted diet, or cram them full of enough supplements that there is nothing that they could possibly be deficient in, thus satisfying your parental instincts to save them from an untimely death.
As it is mainly teenage girls who take a ride on the vegetarian bandwagon (although there are many boys who do so also), and no parents want to be on the receiving end of a hormonal tantrum, there are a couple of things which you should avoid saying or doing at all costs (unless you have no aversion to broken furniture, slammed doors or exposure to screaming at extreme volumes, etc.).
Five Rules for a Happy, Healthy Vegetarian/Non-vegetarian Cohabitation
- The ‘Hidden Meat’ Trick
Only a parent with little or no respect for their child would stoop as low as concealing meat in the veggie chilli, so don’t let this cheap trick tempt you! It’s not only cruel and distressing for the vegetarian concerned, it will not work. “Hey, you know I put some mince in that three-bean stew you just ate, now that wasn’t so bad was it?” will only ever result in an explosive row, tears and possibly vomiting. To a long-term vegetarian, it may be easier to identify rogue meat than to your newly-converted vegetarian teenager, who will most likely not notice carefully concealed chicken until you tell them it’s there, at which point they will undoubtedly be upset by and hate you, if not forever, for a period of a good few months.
- Nag, Nag, Nag.
No amount of nagging will do the trick. Teenagers are notoriously stubborn creatures who are never wrong and are perfectly capable of making their own choices in life, thank you very much. Avoid nagging if at all possible – lectures on amino acids, iron and protein will fall on deaf ears, just as when you try to tell your daughter that her skirts are too short, or not to wear so much eyeliner for school, or your son that he is spending too much time playing football and not enough doing school work.
Badgering your teenager about not-eating-meat will get on their nerves, causing arguments and general disquiet in the home, so it’s best to just let them get on with it. However, if you are seriously concerned that they are lacking in a vital nutrient, arrange for a blood test at your local doctor’s surgery; it won’t take long, and neither you nor your teenager will be able to dispute the results.
- "I’m not spending a fortune on special vegetarian food, there’s nothing wrong with our normal meals!"
This is tight. Not only is it tight, all that you will achieve is that they will live off bread, cheese and baked beans and end up with malnutrition. Have a little heart and buy them some tofu or veggie burgers – they’re often cheaper than meat, and they can put them in the freezer and take out a little when they want it. You don’t necessarily have to prepare all their meals for them.
If you can’t bear the thought of your child being a vegetarian, think positively. The chances are, they will grow out of it, and if they don’t; well, won’t be long before they move out and can buy and prepare their own vegetarian meals. There is no need to attempt to starve them to death.
- An Awkward Vegetarian
If your teenager is really fussy, they may request separate pots and pans that meat hasn’t touched. If you are willing to provide them with these, and have enough storage space, then by all means go ahead. If, however, you don’t have much space or spare cash, try and reach a happy medium; separate chopping boards for meat and vegetables are always a good idea anyway, to prevent cross-contamination, and it’s likely that you’ll have more than one saucepan/frying pan to hand. Let them write their name on it with a sharpie, and make sure no-one else uses it by mistake.
If you’re feeling really harsh, tell them everything gets washed thoroughly after you’ve used it and that if they want an entire set of pots and pans, they can buy them and store them in their bedroom. Leave the decision up to them.
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Teach them to cook
After a few weeks or months of vegetarian cooking, they may run out of steam and start to eat cheese sandwiches for every meal. As a vegetarian, it’s important to get all the nutrients that you need, and protein in particular is more difficult to eat enough of when meat is not part of your diet. Protein is also vitally important for growing children and teenagers.
Buy a decent cookbook and encourage your teenager to prepare the meals with you; even non-vegetarians don’t need to eat meat every night, so why not cook and enjoy a meal together? Once they learn the basics, they’ll be able to cook their own meals. As with all meals it is possible to save time and money by "budget cooking" - simply cook more then you need and freeze portions separately, ready for defrosting as a quick, easy meal.
"The Low GI Vegetarian Cookbook" has lots of information on a balanced diet, and every recipe contains details about the number grams of protein, fats, carbohydrates and fibre in each portion, as well as some great ideas for energy-packed breakfasts, packed lunches and light dinners. Also "The vegetarian Student Cookbook" is full of quick, simple recipes (minus the confusing technical terms) for the inexperienced cook, and is divided into sections such as “Cheap Eats”, “Viva Italia”, “Orient Express” and even “Hangover Cures” which make it really easy to use.
If you require further help or advice then The Vegetarian Society have information covering a wide range of topics relevant to your teenager's chosen lifestyle on their website.
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