Things to consider about getting a divorce

Getting a Divorce

Although the divorce rate in the UK has fallen steadily over the past three years, the fact remains that just under 1 in 12 marriages currently end in the couples getting a divorce *.

Deciding to get a divorce is never an easy decision, there are many factors to it that add to the emotion and stress levels of the situation, not least of which are hurt, frustration, sense of failure, or the belief that you are letting others down. The decision to get a divorce is made even harder if there are children involved (whether they are your own or not) as it is a natural reaction to try and protect children from divorce and its stresses.

There are many reasons people consider divorce, from issues such as infidelity or abuse, feeling neglected, all the way down to simply having fallen out of love, or grown apart. As hard as it is when you find yourself faced with a situation where emotions naturally run high, it is better for all concerned if you can keep your temper and try to keep some perspective on the situation.

Try to remember your frustrations with your relationship may well be shared by your spouse, or they may be blissfully unaware that the thought of divorce has even crossed your mind – so walking in out of the blue and announcing you want a divorce may have unexpected results.

As easy as it is to blame your spouse for how you feel, the reality is that in most cases the roots of the problems lay at both of your feet, there are exceptions to this of course, abusive partners being the most obvious. There are several things you should do before confronting your spouse - you should take the time to step back and think the situation through thoroughly, asking yourself some tough questions, and answering them honestly.

For instance "Are you truly happy?" - the chances are if you are already thinking of divorce, the answer is no – but is it something that could be fixed with some changes and effort? If you think you could be happy if some things change and believe that you are willing to put in the effort to try and save the marriage, it would be worth considering getting marriage counselling, if however you can never see yourself happy in your current relationship or can’t accept that you need to change anything to save the relationship, then it is probably time to move on.

Once the decision to get a divorce has been made you should consult a qualified divorce solicitor to find out your rights. It can be advisable to do this before confronting your spouse as they may try to make things awkward later on.

Choosing the right divorce solicitor can be a daunting process but the chances are you know someone who has been divorced that could recommend someone, or you can look for a divorce solicitor online or in your local phonebook. There are a wide variety of solicitors out there who can advise you on getting a divorce, from large firms who have dedicated teams specialising in a wide spectrum of areas in law to smaller, local, specialised firms like Richard Brown and Co, a divorce solicitor in Peterborough who concentrate their expertise in one or two areas.

(* information taken from the National Statistics website)

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